As a husband, father, and human being, numerous aspects of the Cornell University rape case outrage me.

But what consistently sticks is this: no one in the Chi Phi Snap group chat appears to have intervened.

I can think of several possible reasons why.

Some make more sense than others, and understanding those reasons may help us prevent this kind of complicity from happening again.

Based on the public record, there is no indication that anyone who received the message intervened. What we don’t yet know is what each recipient thought, knew, or did privately.

Not bystander apathy

Some commentators have suggested that the men didn’t react because of bystander apathy.

That’s a convenient explanation, but it’s insufficient. The bystander effect describes a familiar dynamic: when people witness a problem in a group, responsibility can diffuse. Each person assumes someone else will act, or interprets the situation as less serious than it appears.

But this wasn’t a group of strangers witnessing an ambiguous emergency. These were fraternity brothers who lived together, partied together, and depended on one another for status and belonging.

And the message itself was not ambiguous. Anyone who read it understood what was being offered and where.

Based on the public record, there is no indication that anyone who received the message called the police, went upstairs to intervene, or even replied in the chat to say stop.

Diffusion of responsibility may have played a role. But it doesn’t explain why the people who received the message chose not to act.

For that, we need to look at the social pressures within the group and the possibility of a code of silence.

A code of silence

The more plausible hypothesis for why no one intervened to stop the rape is the code of silence. 

This happens not because people fail to notice misconduct, etc., but because reporting it comes with a potential cost, including loss of status in the group, expulsion from the group, and the label of snitch 

These possible outcomes trump moral obligation to the victim. 

Fraternities, sports teams, criminal justice agencies, military units, and gangs operate on a similar basis.

The frame matters because it shapes the remedy. If the problem is bystander apathy, the solution is training people to notice and act. 

Most colleges and universities run some version of bystander intervention training. 

Those programs assume the bystander wants to help but hesitates.

They are poorly designed or managed for a setting where intervening means betraying your brothers.

Breaking the code of silence

Many organizations have recognized the challenges posed by a “code of silence” and have implemented policies and practices designed to encourage members to report misconduct, intervene when appropriate, and protect individuals who come forward. 

These include, but are not limited to, mandatory reporting requirements,  anonymous reporting mechanisms,  whistleblower protections, and anti-retaliation provisions.

While these approaches differ from institution to institution, the underlying objective is to create an organizational culture in which loyalty does not require silence and members are empowered and expected to speak up when conduct threatens the safety, integrity, or well-being of others.

That being said, if you are physically close to where the incident is occurring, then it’s time to be a hero and intervene.

If you are not physically present, you can still contact people you know who can do something, ask probing questions, contact the police, and remain anonymous. 

Why not be a fucking hero for once? 

Breaking a code of silence requires changing that calculation. 

Institutions can make silence costly by sanctioning those who knew and did nothing. 

Men can make speaking up less costly by doing it publicly and often, so the person who says stop isn’t standing alone.

It’s time to speak up.

Title of Illustration:

Photo of the Carving of the three wise monkeys at the Tōshō-gū shrine in Nikkō, Japan